Wednesday 20th March 2013

It's back and this time it's here to stay...

No. I'm not talking about the snow and the crap weather (By the way mam, didn't you once say that March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb? If that's the case, why did it come in like a very cheesed off rhino who couldn't find a free spot in the swamp to bathe and will probably go out like an incredible angry baboon at the zoo because everyone is taking the mick out of its red arse?).

No, no - I'm talking about the lurgy: Voice gone; chest like Deidre Barlow's is back and the humidifier is going full blast in the night. On the plus side, it seems to only have infected me. Fortunately, the bairns and hubby are at present, lurgy free (fingers crossed).

I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm back on the Sudafed, paras and Hot Toddies at the same time that I have gone back to work. My hands are perfectly shriveled from the amount of antibacterial gel I keep applying before I open doors, touch books, take back pens that I have given out to the kids etc, etc...I mean, the teenagers I work with are lovely, lovely people but let's face it, they are teenagers who, when institutionalised in a school environment, spread the lurgy quicker than Twitter spreads litigation.

Being tired and feeling so crappy has made me feel even more guilty about leaving Beth and James on a Monday and Tuesday; I mean, by last night, I literally walked through the door and keeled over; I had absolutely no energy. Bethan came running up to me saying, "Mummy! Mummy!" and my heart melted. She followed the statement through with, "Mummy's got the Cinderella phone!" (the iPad) and the nanny put even more salt into an already large, open wound by saying, "Oh, she has been so funny all day saying that 'Mummy will bring the Cinderella phone home!". In my delirious state I wailed to Rob whilst in the kitchen (out of the children's sight of course), "My child has missed an Apple product more than she has missed me!".

Again on the plus side, looking at the iPad whilst sitting on the potty has meant that Bethan is weeing like a trooper and setting off the music which tells us she has done a number one. She happily sits there either reading the Cinderella story or watching 'Falling Overs' on the ITV player app. Talk about giving a new meaning to reading on the toilet.

I find it ironic that it is a product from the deceased Steve Jobs that helped Bethan gain the confidence to relax whilst on the loo and not the 101+ other tips that we have been given on our intrepid potty training journey. There is even a Potty Training app but she isn't at all interested as she is so fed up of being shown what to do that we now just leave her to it. We're still not there yet but it's miles better than it was because we are a lot more relaxed about it.

Anyway, I'm offsky to bed now and hoping to watch the programme "16 and Counting" on 4OD. A good friend of mine recommended it to me and I am finally getting round to watching it. Just hope I can keep my eyes open long enough to watch it all.

Here is the Peppa Pig plaster
that I had to use tonight after chopping
through my thumb with a pair of scissors.
I actually prefer them to the fabric ones that
we have. Firstly, they are bright and secondly, they
keep water out unlike the fabric ones; you don't just end
up with a sore thumb but a sodden one too!

Thursday 7th February 2013

The dreaded lurgy has hit chez Hillier again - we keep passing it to each other like a stick of dynamite as if to say, "I don't want it, have it back!". No voices have been lost this time but the four of us sound like we've smoked 20 Woodbines in one sitting.

Running out of ideas fast as to how to create damage limitation so that we can break the lurgy cycle. At this point in time, we will try anything as we have already gone through the staples such as: Calpol, Calbufren, Junior Olbas Oil, Hot Toddies (for the adults), Vicks, Karvol (capsules and plug-in), Calpol Plug-In, Steamy bath, ginger...the list is endless. I relented and looked to see what other Alpha Mum's are doing on an Alpha-Type Mum website and among the whole range of remedies, herbal and pharmaceutical, somebody mentioned a Humidifier. We are so desperate that we feel we have already become share-holders in the respective children's medicine companies, so we have forked out 80 quid (please don't laugh) on what can only be described as a big tank of cold water that then lets out cold air. They do provide you with a medicated pad to put in but they only last 8 hours. We have searched high and low for refills but they are all bloody sold out! This makes me feel a little bit better as I know I'm not the only person who has resorted to buying a cold water tank for £80 to help us all breathe a little better.

When I told my mum our latest plan she said, 'Oooo, I'd love one of them!".

"Really?", I asked puzzled as the 1930's house I was brought up in has plenty of air in it as opposed to this 2013 Barratts House that is so well insulated I understand how a beef joint must feel when it's in the oven. We are the only house on the estate that insists on having the windows open in the Winter.

"Oh yes", she replied, "Carol the Cleaner, from the Club, has one and she says it's magic".

"Oh that sounds positive", suddenly I am not feeling so stupid at our purchase.

"Yeah, she says it's fantastic for drying your washing".

Suddenly the misty veil that has been this conversation lifts.

"I think you mean a de-humidifier mam" I tell her.

"What's the difference?" she asks, shocked.

"Well one puts cold air in the room to help you breathe and the other helps to get rid of the condensation in your bay window".

"Well I never" she says "You learn something everyday".

To be fair, I said this as if I had always known the difference when actually I had no idea until I Googled it prior to reserving it on Argos.

Only time will tell if this humidifier has been worth it but for the moment we are sharing it as there is no way we could afford to have one in every room. We have to ascertain each day which of the four of us is feeling the crappest and that bedroom gets to keep it.

____________________________________

Question to self, "Why do I insist on sterilising everything when I found the door stop to the lounge in James' mouth today as well as him crawling and then falling onto the cat's tail?".