Saturday 25th May 2013: London, Part 2. A Family Affair

I've been to London many times but going with my own little family and my brother's family was the best. It reminded me of going to the zoo and not because the Capital is full of animals. No, it reminded me of when we went to the zoo last year for the first time with Bethan. Seeing something that you have seen many times before and taken for granted each time, suddenly becomes a whole new world when looking at it through the eyes of a child.

The journey was indeed an intrepid one. It involved: The train (by the way, if you upgrade to First class for an extra £7.00 why do all the people who have paid in advance look at you whilst your children are climbing the table as if to stay, What on earth are children doing in First Class?); the tube; an open top-bus; a taxi (the driver told us off because Bethan had a wet bum. I tried emphatically to reassure him that she had spilled orange juice on herself in the first class carriage on the train but I'm sure he thought it was wee) and a boat trip.

First stop was the greatest toy shop in the world: 'amleys (Still dropping those /h/s). I don't know who had the most fun; Rob and my brother or the kids! The fun continued on our preferred method of transport - Open-top buses are certainly the best way to see a place: Final. I always thought it was such a 'touristy' thing to do and felt like a bit of an inverted-tourist snob but no, it was brilliant because we saw EVERYTHING! We even witnessed Crystal Palace fans singing and cheering on their way to Wembley (they eventually beat Watford 1-0 and I was very pleased because their singing and chanting far exceeded those of Elton John's chosen football club). Apart from being a little wind-swept and having chapped cheeks, it was so much fun.

Favourite time of the day was by the Tower of London because: a) We changed James' pooey nappy outside it and we didn't get arrested for bum exposure in public (according to our own tourist guide, Mr Robert Hillier the Tower is still a prison) and b) We befriended 3 Chelsea Pensioners who humbled us. In fact, one of them, Joe, invited me to visit him at The Royal Hospital in Chelsea. Rob said that only I could visit London with my family and befriend a Chelsea Pensioner.

Lots of amazing memories were made that day. Even the English Defence League who were 'protesting' outside Parliament Square with a huge police presence, couldn't spoil our day. It's ironic really considering they were protesting loudly in one of the largest multi-cultural and diverse cities on earth. Their need to push, shout and generally try to intimidate those who were around (they failed by the way) reminded me of the quote made by Archbishop Desmond Tutu's father who said to him, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument".

If only...

Beth's interpretation of her trip to London
(with a little help from me ;-)

Our new friends: Joe is the 3rd in from the left

Saturday 18th May 2013: London, Part 1. A Girlie Affair

After a pretty turbulent week (turbulent in terms of western standards), Rob gave me a day pass and not just of the Oyster variety, so that I could spend time with my nearest and dearest in London.

Think Sex and the City meets Manchester in London and you are close(ish) to setting the scene for the day.

Just back-tracking to the turbulent week.  I think the level of turbulence can be easily summarised by the fact I nearly ran myself over with my car.

As I was getting the shopping out of the boot, I could hear Rob the Wise's wizened words, "Will you please remember to put the hand break on when you park the car". Yes, even writing this I can feel the fear unfolding again in slow motion...

Open the boot of the car; Sainsbury's bags in my hands, clinking; car moving towards me and increasing in speed; drop the bags - find the time to put the clinking one somewhere safe; open the passenger seat door as car is still in transit; spread-eagle myself across the passenger seat as I heroically dive for the hand-break; cheering in the background (err, that never happened:Ed); neighbour walks past to see Sainsbury's bags strewn across the car park floor and me, legs akimbo, facing down over the passenger seat.

Yes, a shopping trip with m'mam and lovely sister-in-law in Covent Garden (or 'Coventry' Garden as I later found that I had been telling everyone via the wonders of predictive text) was just the tonic needed. 

As I arrived at early o'clock in Covent Garden, it was so peaceful and calm. Whilst waiting for the others to arrive, I spied the Disney Store in the corner of my eye and thought to myself, "I will pick up an over-priced Minnie Mouse toothbrush which glitters and sparkles whilst you brush your teeth". I hasten to add that the toothbrush was a gift for Bethan as they don't do an adult one...unfortunately...

Anyway, I saw a very long queue of people outside of the Store and considered if it was really worth queuing for a bloody toothbrush? I decided it was and joined the queue. 

As I stood there, patiently, I was people-watching along the queue for quite some time (people watching - a favourite past-time of mine; especially as I make up stories for the people I watch much to Rob's annoyance) and was disconcerted to see that most of the people looked liked they were of high intelligence and had copies of Tolstoy's War and Peace on their person; I started to consider that the Disney Store would be the last place on earth that they were visiting, never mind queuing for. "Hmmm", I wondered and decided to ask the academic-looking man in front of me (who vaguely resembled Bamber Gascoigne) why they was such a long queue for the Disney Story to which he replied in a very posh voice,

"There isn't daaarrling...Ha! Ha!...we're queuing for tickets at The Royal Opera House so we can be assured of seats to watch Verdi's Don Carlo which has been directed by Nicholas Hytner".

"Doh!" came my reply.

Later that afternoon, we went to 'arrods to get m'mam a bag and looked in 'obbs at some fancy dresses - yes, it was not the time and place for me to forget about dropping my /h/s; however, I was so excited to be with the girls shopping and dining in London with my free day pass that I didn't give an 'oot.

This is my 'Arrods bag from the Mancunian Branch of
the famous London Store. M'mam doesn't know what she's missing :-)