December 10th December 2012

It's official. I'm losing the plot.

I think it's because I am so tired and have a nocturnal (nearly) 3 year old. It's like having a permanent hangover but without the pleasure of the drink; it's like extreme jet lag without previously enjoying the luxury of an all inclusive Caribbean holiday. Every time I am in company I feel my left eye start twitching and I am paranoid it's going to close of its own accord. I really hope people don't think I'm winking at them or that I have conjunctivitis otherwise I will never see anyone ever again. Mention a contagious disease and most, if not all, parents will stay away or take you off their Christmas card list if you send your child to pre-school or playgroup. Rightly so. I remember when Bethan had conjunctivitis earlier this year and I spent ages cleaning absolutely everything and Rob still got it. She was walking around (well, into doors) while her eyes were congealed together shouting out "I want books" which is ironic seeing as she had a hope in hell's chance of actually reading them.

No, the worse thing about extreme tiredness is the fact that you forget things. Even worse for me, extreme tiredness leads me to make linguistic mistakes. Being an English teacher you would think that I have a sound grasp of our language but no; not anymore. Last night Rob and I were discussing how Bethan seems to remember everything she sees, hears or listens to. This is a wonderful yet tiring trait; whether it is three o'clock in the morning or three o' clock in the afternoon, Bethan can relive absolutely every little cinematic detail and then I too re-live the whole episode.

I remarked to Rob as she was reciting the Greek Alphabet (Only joking - I'm NOT that Alpha mum...yet)

"Beth's been blessed with a photogenic memory" to which he started chuckling and snorting.

"What's up?"

"Don't you mean a photographic memory"

"Oh Lord, yes"

"You've been saying it for weeks but I thought it was funny and didn't want to tell you".

FUNNY! Language is my thing. Not cooking; not face painting; not knitting; not baking - Language!
This is what Samson must have felt like when he had his hair chopped off. Rob's pet name for me was the Human Thesaurus (I know, we live on the kinky edge of life). To rub even more Maldon salt into the already open, pussy wound he was saying as he laughed furiously,

"It's such a gift having a memory that looks good on camera".

Ok, being extremely tired sucks. I get frustrated when I forget play dates or friend's anniversaries or Rob's birthday (oops) and I feel really cheesed off when I embarrass myself when I misuse the English language but who cares? I've never laughed so much in my life :-)

Pre-children I based myself on Cicero (See picture). You could often find me sat reading on a marble bench with my leg cocked up, pondering the world as I read works by the great and the good. 

So how on earth did I get  to being  interested
in the "20 Skinniest Celebs" and reading
such quality publications? To be honest, when
I read these magazines, it makes me realise
how lucky I am.